Talk:Collaborative Writing Project: Red Bat

This is a really exciting project! Glad to be involved!

Also, 1st contribution to the talk page!

Do you believe in dragons? ;D D 00:21, September 4, 2013 (UTC)

Adding details to old content
Am I correct in assuming that new sections can be added in between older sections of the story? It seems to be within the scope of the rules. — S im A nt 02:27, September 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * I would assume so. Ask an Admin.


 * Do you believe in dragons? ;D D 02:39, September 4, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the question, Simant. Even though it isn't directly addressed in the rules, we want users to contribute in a linear fashion. Please only add entries to the end of the story.

Thanks!

Mhadick (talk) 18:34, September 4, 2013 (UTC)

Your Thoughts
What are your current thoughts on the project? --ScorpionTail (talk) 04:53, September 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * I think it is Groundbreaking. Never before has the technology existed for an actual democratic writing project of this quality.


 * What really love is how so many events are going on at once- battle inside the buildings, corporate meeting, club meeting, riots outside, all running in parallel.


 * Zukomones (talk) 11:47, September 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * I agree, the Internet is awesome.


 * Do you believe in dragons? ;D D

honestly i liked the flow how it was going for a while even though i havent been personally adding content like i did towards the beginning however it seemed to take a hard curve ball in there somewhere i probably should go reread it all but suddenly i was reading about the fairy kind, and yes i get the relevance and how this world its not objectionable nor offbeat to have in place but still o.o. hopefully once i re-read it ill be able to throw in some more content to help out. --Rexking596 (talk) 20:18, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

Actually, i think this is a really cool idea, and I personally like to help, but my art skills are probably not good enough to help... but I do like the story line!

If you care about it, contribute and get rid of the nukes. I will not allow people to read such a potentially disappointing ending. --ScorpionTail (talk) 03:08, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Where is everyone?
Where is everyone? --ScorpionTail (talk) 21:39, September 4, 2013 (UTC)

Someone broke the rules!
My post got deleted! That's against the rules! Grr, this infuriates me!

Do you believe in dragons? ;D D 23:10, September 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * What post was it? --ScorpionTail (talk) 23:12, September 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * Hi TheReturnOftheKing,


 * Your posts were removed because they were inserted into the middle of the story. All contributions must be added at the end of the article page, in a linear fashion. "Breaking up" of posts into sections also violates rules 2 and 3. A contribution being split into two still only counts as one contribution. Please allow for three paragraphs between contributions and remember to adhere to the six sentence rule.


 * If rules are broken repeatedly by the same user, we reserve the right to ban.


 * Thanks,


 * Mhadick (talk) 23:55, September 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * Sorry, but I don't see how the first post (which was over six sentences) was inserted into the middle of the story.


 * I'm sorry for getting upset, but I really thought that the content I added deserved a chance, as it touched on a lot of themes which I thought this story represented. I'll try and re-post my ideas in a shorter form.


 * Do you believe in dragons? ;D D 01:07, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

ScorpionTail
Sorry to bother you, but I'm quite disgusted by the sexually profane content that ScorpionTail has been adding. I thought sexual profanity was against the rules. Shouldn't that be deleted?

Do you believe in dragons? ;D D 01:09, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

Is what you just said in the rules? If so, then I'll edit the posts. Pure and simple. I apologize if you were offended, by the way. I just thought that it fit the art direction and seemingly mature storyline well. Besides, there are no actual scenes in which certain things take place, nor do they delve into any explicit details. --ScorpionTail (talk) 01:12, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

While I might not have a thing to do with this, I agree with ScorpionTail. This is being marketed up as "from the creators of Afro Samurai", a quite violent anime which does have a rather explicit sex scene, so one should expect mature content. Ponyo Fan (talk) 20:51, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Hey
I just made my first contribution to the story and I'm not entirely sure if I did this right. If I did anything wrong, I'm sorry. 06:14, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

You did quite a bit of good, actually. --ScorpionTail (talk) 07:21, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

The CEO of Red Bat
Okay, hold it, I think there is a little discrepancy in the story. Dragomir Lovinsceu was stated to be the CEO of redbat. This is made perfectly clear earlier in the story, but someone contributing is making it out that he's not the CEO and that the CEO is named something else. Can this please be rectified before the story continues?

And what happened to 'The Commander' being in the character list? Why was his name removed?

(Anonymius (talk) 18:28, September 5, 2013 (UTC))

Of course. There can be two CEOs in the story. As for the Commander, only characters who the respective Animanga master created have the right to be up there. Someone else created the Commander, so he was removed from the list. --ScorpionTail (talk) 18:38, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

The story so far has only made reference to 'the' ceo, as in 'one' ceo. If there were two, either would have been called 'co-ceo'. And given that it was yourself Scorpiontail who gave the ceo a different name and wrote lovinsceu as someone else which contradicts previous posts... (Anonymius (talk) 19:19, September 5, 2013 (UTC))

I'll edit one of my posts. --ScorpionTail (talk) 19:40, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

I solved the problem. --ScorpionTail (talk) 19:43, September 5, 2013 (UTC)

Is it alright if... you edit the posts (ex: spelling errors, etc.)? Kyrea21 (talk) 00:36, September 6, 2013 (UTC)Kyrea21

It's okay if you edit your own posts, but don't edit anyone elses. --ScorpionTail (talk) 00:39, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Speaking of the CEO, did anybody like my plot twist, or was it too clichéd?

Do you believe in dragons? ;D D 03:08, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Curse of Justinian Reference
Some Historical Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plague_of_Justinian

I would also like to note, that the Plague of Justinian occurred during a very critical time under very important circumstances. The Eastern Roman Empire, what we today call the Byzantine Empire, was in the middle of a conquest to retake the West. The armies of Justinian had reached near the very gates of the Vatican when the Plague broke out, not at first in the outskirts as previous plagues had done, but starting in the capital city itself. Conspiracy theories aside, I would like to leave the Catholic Church out of this, if possible, however the event itself as always stuck in my mind as an important turning point in history as it basically brought Justinian's military campaign to an end. At the same time, I think at least some historical references always spice up a good vampire story.

Zukomones (talk) 03:27, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

I tried to edit my post so that I could incorporate a bit more of the history you've discussed here. Is that okay? --ScorpionTail (talk) 03:39, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Of course! Awesome. =) Zukomones (talk) 03:41, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Oberon
I named the fairy Oberon. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oberon

A good reference and a strong name. Zukomones (talk) 03:58, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

The Importance of Art
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_Before_Civilization

He makes three conclusions which the New York Times considers unexpected:

1: that the most important part of any society, even the most war-like ones, are the peaceful aspects such as art

2: that neither frequency nor intensity of war is correlated with population density 3: that societies frequently trading with one another fight more wars with one another

What we are doing here is the first real test of whether democratic methods can extend to art. The importance of this cannot be underestimated.

Zukomones (talk) 04:27, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Confusion
Okay, let me just try to clarify a few things:

The character named Efriend turned out to be a Vanarchist, even though earlier in the story he seemed to be a character against the Vanarchists. Was this not the real Efriend then? Is Efriend meant to be the Rival?

And why would a vanarchist be drinking red bat anyway, let alone be a vampire?

And if the Rival doesn't drink 'the red junk', what does he drink? Human blood? (Anonymius (talk) 09:36, September 6, 2013 (UTC))

Well for the first question, Efriend stole the Rival's mask and approached Gabriel, hoping that he could lure him to the Vanarchists using the fake identity. I introduced the idea of Efriend being an imposter, so if you have any problems with it, I can edit my post. I believe Zeromaro can answer your next questions. --Pikapwn (talk) 11:51, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

My problem is that in a previous post, Efriend was a character against the vanarchists, yet in a more recent post he's become a vanarchist. (Anonymius (talk) 12:55, September 6, 2013 (UTC))

What happened was, Efriend was a Vanarchist who pretended to help Gabriel. Since that thug kidnapped Rose, (I think we can assume that thug was just after the bounty....come to think of it, it was never stated who that thug was) Efriend swooped in, beat the thug and lied told Gabriel he was the Rival and he wanted his help to fight the Vanarchists. In reality, he was a Vanarchist who was tricking Gabriel. He wanted to lure Gabriel to the Vanarchist lair, and then ambush him. Garbiel figured this out, so he stopped Efriend. (And sorry I took so long to respond. Busy day.....) --Pikapwn (talk) 05:54, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

Dracula?
I really hope somebody isn't going to bring in the literal "Vlad the Impaler" Dracula into this. What next, Frankenstein, the Lochness Monster and maybe Voltron? Bringing in Oberon was classy, bringing in a story that has been done can sink the entire project. I swear, if someone brings in Dracula I will bring in Duckula. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Duckula j/k

Anyways yeah let's see something more creative. Now if it an imposter or a clone- that would be interesting, if done right.

Zukomones (talk) 13:11, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Well, since I guess this is somehow about me, I should explain. Someone else named the CEO Dracula, so I basically just went with the flow. However, I didn't make him be literally Vlad the Impaler or anything, but I do have something in mind that to me seems good. Guess we will see how it works. If it won't fit well in the story, I will change it. 13:18, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

The guy was making an off hand statement, he was saying "Dracula" in the sense of stereotyping vampires. Like if I called a mad scientist "Dr. Frankenstein", I am not saying he is THE literal doc frank, but that he is symbolic of the doc. Zukomones (talk) 02:36, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

Oberon
You can't bring Oberon into this story. The rules clearly state "No other pre-existing characters or universes can be referenced, anime or otherwise." That also includes Dracula, or even Duckula! Only the characters mentioned in the character list or original characters in this story. (Anonymius (talk) 15:52, September 6, 2013 (UTC))

Characters such as Oberon are in the public domain. I can use them. --ScorpionTail (talk) 15:56, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Actually ScorpianTail you cannot. The rules specifically state that you can only use characters created by the Masters themselves. I will be deleting your latest entry. Please adhere to the rules

Kate 16:11, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry about that. It won't happen again. --ScorpionTail (talk) 16:25, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Booths
Use phone booths who fly a lot.90.244.85.208 17:49, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

As in... a TARDIS?

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 20:07, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Justinian
I didn't understand the reference to a Justinian, so I assumed it was an original character and added it. Should I change that so that the emperor of the Byzantine Empire isn't... an evil fairy/pomeranian/vampire?

And really, an evil fairy?

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 20:07, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Originally, fairies were actually portrayed as evil in medieval folklore. Besides, a fairy villain would act as a perfect antithesis for Gabriel. I even gave him dark green clothes to contrast Gabriel's bright red jacket. Oh, and the Justinian mentioned isn't the emperor. He just shares his first name. --ScorpionTail (talk) 20:17, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

Justinian is not a character, he is a historical reference. Like if we had mentioned Alexander the Great and brought in The Ghost of Alexander the Great- that would be an original character since nobody has used it before. Unless that is, we aren't even allowed historical references in this wiki. Like if I write "New York" and it gets deleted, or I mention a character saying "George Washington lead the American Revolution" and it gets deleted. Anyways Justinian is not a character per se, he is a warlock synthesis character with a different nature and name, and he isn't even a fictional character to begin with. Zukomones (talk) 02:43, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

The warlock had the same name as Emperor Justinian, but they aren't the same character. A more legitimate text proved that "Baron Justinian" and Arborius were the same person. --ScorpionTail (talk) 03:13, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

I see. So the baron was just named after the emperor and came after the Byzantines and the creation of the fairies? Also, was my reference to Tinkerbell allowed?

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 16:44, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

Considering that it was used as an insult, I'm sure they'll allow it. --ScorpionTail (talk) 16:48, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

The Commander
Since the Vanarchist called the Commander a b!tch, does that mean that he's actually a she or is calling a male person a b!tch acceptable?

One must consider proper grammar before insulting a person. Very important.

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 16:51, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

Julius called the Commander a bitch as purely an insult. And the Vanarchist didn't kill the Commander, Julius did. --ScorpionTail (talk) 16:57, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

Governor/General Redwater
I consider them the same person, as I'm pretty sure a person can be a governor and a general.

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 20:58, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

True indeed. --ScorpionTail (talk) 21:22, September 7, 2013 (UTC)

NDE
In case anyone says anything, Bethany just had an NDE. --ScorpionTail (talk) 00:29, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Please Make the Story Organic
Hey guys, ummm, so this may be a personal pet peeve of mine (and I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed it) but I kind of feel like the piece is clumsy, cobbled together, with little to no depth in dialogue or character. Actually it feels like a few contributors are solely interested in promoting their characters and steering the story in their direction. For example, at one point in the story the action cut 3 or 4 different times, mostly by contributors who are essentially picking up where they left off and were interrupted by the wait-3-posts rule.

I feel as though the original idea behind the project was for everyone to build off each other, one brick on top of the next, but instead it often feels like everyone's trying to build their own foundation. Please guys, try to add STORY to the story. Please guys make decisions organic to the storyline Jottie22 (talk) 01:08, September 8, 2013 (UTC)Jottie22

That's what I've been trying to do for the entirety of the project. The pacing is just so fast, though. --ScorpionTail (talk) 01:14, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Not to mention the fact that I also feel forced to try and make every other post more coherent with one another. I apologize for complaining so much, but I feel it needs to be said. We need to cooperate a little bit more so that the story flows better. Hopefully, with the next project, we can do this properly. --ScorpionTail (talk) 01:24, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

I don't believe it should be about trying to fix other people's mistakes or trying to connect the dots between submissions, that only adds to the problem. What should be evident is a need to cooperate in terms of storytelling. Left and right new characters are introduced and new plot twists are added and I'm reading it and asking myself "What the heck is going on?"

The characters have about as much depth as the characters from Mars of Destruction to be honest. Zero personality, dialogue about as deep as "Humans are monsters." The story progression is unnatural, there is no single genre to confine the project to. Contributors have to ask themselves, before they leave their mark, "What should happen next?" and not "How can I make this project cooler?"

That being said, some kind of succession of writers should work together to bang out a nice talky scene.

Jottie22 (talk) 04:29, September 8, 2013 (UTC)Jottie22

That sounds perfect. I love the way you think, good sir. --ScorpionTail (talk) 04:31, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Good job so far!
Hi, I noticed the tag to this project, on the Bleach wiki, so I decided to pay a visit. After reading through the story so far, I must say that the concept is fascinating and seems to be working quite well, aside from some minor disputes between writers. I'm curious to see if Gabriel, Rose, and the others will find a way to defeat Arborius; from what I've read, the Grimoire mentioned might hold the answers to the fairy king's power? Anyway, good luck with the story, I'll be sure to follow it till the end, which with the high pace, will be hard pressed to last to sep 11. ^^ Stefan (Shikai - &#34;Rust &#38; Shatter&#34;) (talk) 01:42, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Really? Do you have any constructive criticism to offer? --ScorpionTail (talk) 01:46, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

The year is 2020. is there going to be any Cyber Punk Intrigue?
is there going to be any cyberpunk intrigue? when i hear the year 2020 i start thinking about Brain Computer interfaces and Jacking into the matrix like off of the Johnny mnemonic movie and also shadow run. and also in the shadowrun universe there are evil corporations and vampires as well. so is there going to be a cyber punk Aspect of this story? Promethius20 (talk) 01:44, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Not at the moment. Considering how long the gap between this year and 2020 is, things wouldn't change too much. But I'll see what I can do. --ScorpionTail (talk) 01:47, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

you know you dont need Brain Computer interfaces in order to have Cyber punk aspect of the story anyways i was only using that as a example. for starters near the end of the story theres talk that nuclear missiles will need to be diverted. and a computer hacker can help this goal. perhaps that bethany character has the skill to hack into some mainframe and divert thos nuclear missiles. aslo remeber in Blade runner there was computers also and that took place in 2019 but that did not have the brain computer interface either. but to be fare the time line in blade runner split in 1968 and 2001 a space odyssey took place in the same universe. so our world was never going to have orbital space habitats for space tourists in the year 2019 ,just like in Blade runner. im just trowing it out there that the story needs more computer hacking Promethius20 (talk) 02:08, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

She already tried doing that, but one of the other writers is too obsessed with blowing up New York City with nukes in this story. --ScorpionTail (talk) 02:10, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

I'm sorry, but if Bethany just immediately diverts all the nukes then it isn't as thrilling and climatic a finish. Also, at least one of the main characters needs to die, maybe Sanders.

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 17:08, September 8, 2013 (UTC)

Stop This at Twice!
Um…

Entropy!

TheReturnOfTheKing - O_o I'm watching… 17:08, September 8, 2013 (UTC)